Tour Hosted by Bewitching Book Tours
The Corpse Goddess
By Kristi Jones
Publisher: Evernight Publishing
Number of pages: 274
Word Count: 79,034
Party girl Meg Highbury wakes up the morning of her twenty-first birthday with one hell of a hangover – and a walking corpse in her apartment. Meg turns to her straight-laced neighbor Armando for help and together they discover that Meg is a Valkyrie.
What’s more, her first duty is to trade places with the corpse. But Meg is being sent to her Death Duty too soon. In a race against time, Meg frantically tries to find a loophole to her gruesome fate, but while Meg is determined to live whatever the cost, Armando's strict moral principles keep getting in the way of her plans for escape.
Can Meg walk the 'right' and narrow path, possibly sacrificing her mortal life, for love? And if she can, will Armando have the stomach to love a rotting corpse of a girl who is falling apart in more ways than one?
They got out of the car and trudged across the grass, stepping over gravestones and one mound of freshly turned earth. Meg headed toward the tree, then decided to keep going. The back edge of Green Haven ended in another cornfield, one neat line of mown grass abutting against the ordered row of cornstalks.
The place was deserted, as usual, but cars passed by on the road running from the university. They were taking a risk doing the ceremony before dark, but time was running short. And Meg wanted to get the show on the road.
“I need to use the bathroom before we start,” Meg said.
“Why didn’t you go at the gas station?” Emma asked, lips pursed.
Meg didn’t understand why Emma was acting so put out. “Because it’s still light out, Emma. The last thing we need is to get caught with a zombie in broad daylight.”
“Emma, why don’t you help her and I’ll go get the replacement.”
“I’ll just use the field,” Meg muttered, trying to ignore the shiver that ran through her body when Tee called Danny “the replacement”.
Emma followed as Meg stumbled over the gravestones and into the cornstalks.
“I’ll be okay here, Emma.”
“Do you need me to hold you or something?”
“No, I think I can manage. I’m not that bad off yet.”
“It’s okay. I’ll meet you at the tree.”
“But, what if you need help?”
“I’ll call, okay? Really, I’m fine.” Meg heard the impatience in her voice, but dammit, she wasn’t an invalid yet. This might be her last real pee, and like a frustrated toddler, she wanted to do it herself.
“All right, I’ll be right by the tree, so call if you need a hand.”
Meg knew she wouldn’t be able to squat. Her legs were already shaking and unsteady. She pulled a few leaves from the stalks, laid them in a pile then pulled down her pants and underwear.
She sat down, spread her legs and tried to heave herself up with her arms long enough to pee into the leaves, hoping it would funnel away from her body. It worked, sort of. She used a wad of napkins she’d stuffed into her pocket for toilet paper and dried her legs. Unfortunately there was no way to avoid seeing the blood. The blood that meant she was dying. Her heart tripped, a scared, rabbit-punch beat. This is what it’s like to die, she thought. This is what it’s like to be eighty and wasting away in a nursing home ... only at warp speed.
When she finished and got to a standing position, her face was covered in tears. Tears of fear and pain and anger. Anger at herself for reading that book, and for dragging Armando into something that had cost him so much. She realized that even if she did manage to use a replacement and delay her duties as a Valkyrie, she would never be able to give Armando back what he'd lost. How she would live with that, she couldn't imagine, but she had no strength to fight against the rushing stream funneling her toward some unknowable future. She Emma had emerged as a pillar of cold-hearted strength in a surprising determination to help Meg escape the Death Duty. Only Tee seemed unchanged by the day’s events. She was simply helping a friend. Going along, the way she always did. Ready to be entertained, ready to have fun despite it all.
“Meg? Are you okay?’
Meg wiped the tears away and sniffed back her feelings. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”
She emerged from the cornstalks, her mouth set in grim determination. “All right, let’s get this show on the road. I’m ready to be human again.”
The Corpse Goddess Music Play List
Changes by David Bowie
All This and Heaven Too by Florence and the Machine
Monsters by Matchbook Romance
When We Were Young by The Killers
Sweet Child of Mine by Guns N Roses
99 Problems by Hugo
Demons by Imagine Dragons
Ain't No Grave by Johnny Cash
Dead! by My Chemical Romance
Carry Me Down by Demon Hunter
Gravedigger by Willie Nelson
Ride of the Valkyries by Richard Wagner
Everybody's Changing by Keane
About this Author:
Kristi Jones spent her childhood exploring European castles, crumbling manor houses and ornate cathedrals, always looking for secret passages and hidden rooms. She holds a degree in European history and loves to throw ‘ordinary’ characters into extraordinary circumstances.
She currently lives in south Texas with her husband and two children, who inspire her daily. She is a member of the Writers’ League of Texas and Romance Writers of America. She loves old movies, being a Mom, the feel of paper in her hands and things that go bump in the night.
Guest Post by Kristi Jones:
NOTE: The guest post will be posted once I receive it, and after Labor Day when I come back online. Sorry for this inconvenience.